Unison of Life

Canto Twelve: Mindfulness

Half-way, between the beginning of time
and the end of eternity –
– Each moment
When we are mindful for a flicker of thought
and that is all it is – without language
– as we witness our lives
our inspirations... following our breaths... now.

This mindful, repetitive moment is the total of our life –
we are conscious and aware of our reality
as we construct our memories –
that dusty storage bin of our consciousness
which gradually softens and becomes a
gentle, down mattress, a cozy cloud.

As on a beach we, one handful at a time,
build a castle of sand however unimposing.
We experience in this fleeting, flicker of time
all our dreams, memories, fears – buddhahood
– yes, and our fantasies and imperatives.

We see the parts of these in stages and impulses
as these accumulate into priorities and concepts.
“First I will get up, then get a drink of water.”
“Then I will walk to my room, and lie down for a rest.”
As with the five progressive stages
of stepping in mindful, walking meditation.

When our impulses are simple and pure
our clean actions come rapidly, as chaste
as a kitten playing with a ball.
We see – but usually as a retrospective –
that our lives are already right and interesting.

This mindfulness of and compassion for ourselves
develops together by these same progressive stages,
Yet notice how these thoughts come too fast to contain “I or mine.”
Instead, that is a meta-place, a reference point
not a place in the moment of time.

“I and mine” are judgments in a meta-language
that describe the flicker of time we perceive
in the same way that all people perceive
Even when they are least aware of this unison of life.
October 29, 2010; Pullman, WA

Bits and Pieces

Stop, stop, no need to speak!
My Law is wonderful and difficult to ponder.
Those who are overbearingly arrogant
When they hear it, will never show reverent belief.

Dynamic Meditation, to physically dramatize thoughts,
is taught by the Osho community--
Step One: Deep fast chaotic breathing for up to ten minutes;
Step two: Playfully act out all your madness or anger;
Step Three: Jump straight up and down for five minutes or so, and shout ‘Hoo!’
Step Four: Stop, freeze exactly as you are in an extended vertical position;
Step Five: Celebrate and rejoice through dance. (Active Meditation)

Here is proof that we can all live a better life:
In Nargajuna’s Examination of the Four Noble Truths,
he succinctly explains the message of Buddha’s lesson
about the abstract nature of suffering:
“If suffering had an essence,
Its cessation would not exist.
So if an essence is posited,
One denies cessation.” (Nargajuna, pg. 70)

So the conclusion is -- that suffering is "empty,"
an optional or unnecessary experience.

Far more Western people experience Yoga, and embrace part of those teachings than engage in buddhism. But what is the difference?

Yoga is not a theoretical system but a practical one,
in which the practice must lead to an end result:
a new way of looking at the world…”
and includes the following
(and if it doesn not include all of these aspects,
it is a shallow, superficial exercise routine...)

“(Ethical and spiritual practices)
1. Yama (self-restraint)
2. Niyama (personal observances);

(Physical Practices)
3. Asana (physical training)
4. Pranayama (breath control);

(Meditation Practices)
5. Pratyahara (withdrawing the senses)
6. Dharana (Concentration)
7. Dhayana (meditation)
8. Samadhi (absorption).” (Forstater, pp, 58-71)
(Compare to The Eight-fold Path.)
There is a popular symbol of a multiple armed dancer,
that symbolism is a frequent feature of Indian and yoga iconography.
Rational Buddhists can certainly embrace the goal
of changing an individual’s perspective on the world,
and benefit from the practices and discipline taught by Yoga...

But Buddha’s perspective on the world,
once he experienced enlightenment, sounds quite different;
the Buddha said: “...The other extreme to be avoided
is devotion to ascetic practices that punish the body.
This is nothing but empty suffering
and does nothing for the sake
of attaining the ideal of enlightenment.” (Mizuno, pg. 32)

Can Enlightenment be the result of progress in former lives?
— who knows and does it matter?
– but for sure in this life
– as a result of cleansing, virtuous living,
calm meditation, showing compassion and faith
all this makes life important and worth living and sharing.
“The brilliance of his [her] wisdom
will be like the shining of the sun;
Even in his [her] dreams
he [she] will see only wonderful things.” (Watson, pg. 210)

I have no wings, yet
I fly across the ocean
An albatross, a gull. (IHJ, 18/5/09) Written in route to Thailand.

My Pain talks to me
About growing old, slowly
But I ignore it. (IHJ, 18/5/09)

Perhaps, if we wish to loose weight, for example,
we have to learn to gain our comfort from other than eating.
Sit well rooted
In the tree’s shade daily
Birds- sing nirvana. (IJ, 2007)

There is one idea
That dwells in my mind each day
Happiness to all.

Everyone has the key to happiness…
you just have to choose the right lock.

You can’t have rosy thoughts about the future
when your mind is full of blues about the past. (wellpage.com)

This is a special day if you make (or listen to) music!

Samahito names a flower
When our colorful clothing shines
as the gleam in our eyes. (IJ 2007)

We cannot direct the wind,
but we can adjust our sails.

Spreading happiness is like painting…
you can’t help but get a few drops on yourself.

Life is the greatest bargain,
we get it for nothing.

The seeds of happiness are free,
so plant them often. (wellpage.com)


One image of a person is their shadow
except at noon it is emptiness
then at night it is fullness. IHJ

Thich Nhat Hanh once wrote:
‘If you are a poet,
you will see that there is a cloud
in this sheet of paper.
Without a cloud, there will be no rain;
without rain, the trees cannot grow;
and without trees, we cannot make paper’.” (Chan, pg. 119)
(This chain of causality is what we see as anatta.)

“Waking up this morning, I smile.
Twenty-four brand new hours are before me.
I vow to live fully in each moment
And to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.” (Hanh, pg. 102)


“May the merit of this action
be shared by all beings everywhere,
so that they may come to the end of suffering.”

I Work More Than I Can Bear

Suan Mokkh: The Garden of Liberation

by Buddhadasa bhikkhu

I work more than I can bear, but

am happy hearted enough to leap and dance.

This is because my mind thinks and aims

only to live in line with the Dhamma,

Wherever the causes and conditions lead,

according to the karma I laid down in former moments.

To die is like a pause from work,

to sleep for a night, to rest for a time;

With the new dawn, I take up the work

vigorously carrying on the work left over from before.

The new day is a new birth, these two are the same:

born with the day and dying at night,

As the waves of the samsaric cycles create

the myriad products that soothe and comfort our hearts.

Whoever wishes for joy and bliss must know

that it depends on the one who can see joy for himself.

As for me, there is no meaning beyond

the fact that I was born only to work

According to conditions, so that myself and others

will know the world, conquer it, and vanquish sorrow.

Nature created us perfectly, physically and mentally

thriving — boundless thanks to Nature!

Although we are created for birth, decay, and death,

yet Nature gives me the chance to vie

Struggle, and contend in all duties to break ahead

in order to reach the end before anyone else.

While friends encourage each other to lie around,

I am working hard as if they were chasing behind.

The duties of life that besiege constantly

are like debts ever piling up on top of me

Blocking my way almost like a whirlpool,

when will I pass beyond and find the place of freedom and peace?

From here to Nibbana we must pass through

the checkpoint which is the work of our lives

This Law is more certain than any scales;

no matter how skilled, no one can escape this rule.

For this reason, in any activity that

aims for the benefit of others or oneself

We should hurry, struggle, and strive

to make it beautiful and work off our debt to Nature.

Until the heart’s attachments to all things

weaken, dissolve, and fade away

So that wisdom sees directly that greed, anger,

and delusion are finished and samsara stopped.

Hurry friends, don't be late!

Whatever work you may meet, tackle it immediately.

Much work may bring a faster death,

but it rolls along towards the final rest, just the same.


"Sirivayasa"
13 February 1938

[translated by santikaro bhikkhu]
The Teacher: Buddhadasa Bhikkhu

Tan Ajarn -- Buddhadasa Bhikkhu founded Suan Mokkh after giving up on the monastic system in Bangkok. He found the Wats (temples) there dirty, crowded, and corrupt, nothing like the purer, more simple Buddhism of his birthplace. Thus, returned to the South and moved into an abandoned temple near his hometown. At first living alone, then with others as news of his experiment spread, he took a radical look into the sources of Theravada Buddhism and dedicated his life to following the pristine Dhamma and correcting the numerous mistaken beliefs and practices that had crept in over the centuries. Some hated him, others loved him. Why not see what he has to offer?

Meditation - Tapas

Would it be possible to write a poem
about the contents of meditation in the mind?
Would it be like describing the contents
of a hole in the ground by identifying its width and depth?
Can you cast light on the contents of the hole
by describing the rough walls or loose dirt at the bottom?
Is this the goal of meditation to empty the mind
like digging a hole and then becoming its content?
Does the very attempt to describe the result
or content of meditation fall into a pit of sacrilege?
Am I stepping into a novice trap or trying to theorize
about a process so diverse and each time different?
Have you read many different approaches where each,
curiously, describes the outcome differently?
Is there a common thread that can be identified
contained in the result of all forms of meditation?
Or are there private experiences characterized as similar,
interrelated, based on intention and imperfect results?
If the search for understanding using meditation
takes us to an ascetic isolation, what have we gained?
Is this passing the test or simply leaving the classroom
and disrespecting the teacher?
Does the virtue of meditation lie in “getting off the wheel”
of recurring lives, eliminating karma?
Like emptying ones loose bowels, spread-eagle over a smelly toilet
in a fast moving train in Asia?
Is it necessary to accept the concept of other lives, or a god
in order to profit by meditation?
Can writing poetry, no matter how humble as this,
be a successful or even “perfect” meditation?
Does the content of this poetic form of meditation,
the verses I have created, for example,
So simple and void of content, holding no answers
release the mind from its trap just as well?
Does this poem help us connect to our hearts?
I hope so.

I.J. Hall December 25, 2003

This poem as well as the previous poem, Bon di, are taken from my book, Bodhicitta: Higher Truth, which is available as an e-file download free for the asking. It is considered an advanced book on Buddhist practice.

Bon Di

The Beaver Pond has never been so clear.
The transparent water shows the truth
That lies there on the bottom revealing
Like a moment of inspiration and creativity
Those furtive verities that sometimes come,
Flashes of light between relaxed breaths.

The soft greens of the healthy plants below
Blanket the dormant fish, frogs and salamanders
Kindly, protected from the freezing night air
That has dulled the former brilliance of leaves
Turning the alder brown, the cottonwood yellow,

Turning the long summer to the Advent of Winter.

This clarity mimics my nascent insight
As I see my emotions dormant but healthy.
My Spirit frolics with the ducks on this purity
Ducking their heads, splashing as I would,
Then swimming down under water, happily
Flapping their wings across the glassy surface
Before they return to the shore for more corn.

The merganser who visited yesterday has gone,
His services were unclaimed. Even after
Swimming heroically back and forth chattering
He remained resolutely alone, estranged
Singing his un-welcomed poetic verses.
He departed unnoticed, taking with him
His handsome, majestic plumage
Unappreciated except by me, who he feared.

My life is just this simple and this complex.
As I sit akimbo on the low, solitary, post seat
A kingfisher arrives and complains loudly
Asserting his right to this sacred territory.
I will have to leave for my meager lunch
So he can find his breakfast, undisturbed.
I return, enlightened, home;
in this small way blessed by nature.

Bon Di

I.J. Hall, November 13, 2003

Canto Eleven: Right Effort -- See the world as it is...

How free is our will
if we have not the power to execute it
in the way we at our best would wish?
Do we see the world as it really is?

Each breath we cycle in and out,
Each beat of our hearts is automatic
not related to our will or effort.
Do we see the world as it really is?

Each step we take exercises our will
even if we are unaware of it
And we learn from our breath when we meditate
and slow our hearts, listening to
the ancient refrain of our pulse.
Now we see the world as it really is!

When we control our diet and exercise
to have a healthy heart we bless
our lives and celebrate our connection to humanity.
Then we see the world as it really is.

When we pause and choose to notice
the simple rotation of Earth
we celebrate the mystery of our existence,
watching as we fall into rising Sun
and fly away from the Sunset.
Then we see the world as it really is.

When we choose to improve our minds
by studying the Sciences and literature,
History will teach us lessons to avoid suffering.
If we see the world as it really is.

And we can teach all mankind if
we make the effort to share merit
and not repeat the errors of the past.
Practice makes perfection
When we see the world as it really is.

It takes very little effort to win
if we are judicious, mindful,
consistent, careful and repetitive.
As long as we see the world as it really is!
April 17, 2009; Pullman, WA

Canto Eight: Right Speech – Vacisucarita

It is so easy to hear the voice of others
and conceive motive, intent, judgment
And inevitably at times, to react like someone
put a pitchfork into the dung heap of our memories,
the noxious fumes come from this residue
more than from the content of what has been said.
But this too can change.
How difficult is it for some to speak kindly and softly
especially after the above, or just anytime?
Are we incapable or just unwilling to perceive our own speech
in the same terms as what we hear?
We proceed grumbling against the walls of our cages.
But this too can change.
This defect is not the essence of whom we are.
There is no evil soul lurking inside our bodies
creating negative speech patterns for us.
We can become the fount of joy for others and ourselves.
When our best intentions to speak correctly fail us,
is this when we have lost sight of compassion?
But this too can change.
So our deliberate and conscious practice might be --
beginning with someone with whom we are intimately involved--
Let every idle pause in the conversation
be a moment of meditation about this compassion.
Focus a few breaths on a “Nimitta” of discernment.
Repeat the secret word “vacisucarita”
which means good conduct in speech.
No false – harsh – malicious – nor idle speech.
Let us speak these words from our physical organs
so they resonate twice, from our heart to our ears.
We sense this entirely unlike touch
the sound travels with our breath as we exhale.
The breath of life uses the same pathway as speech
thus this chanting unites in a special meditation
the most sacred and active force of life.
If we contaminate our breath pathway with harsh,
libelous or indiscriminate speech
We violate one of the most basic Precepts.
But this too can change.
How long will it take that pathway to return to wholeness?
Instead – whenever kind words are spoken
according to the teachings of Dharma
we make merit and amplify the volume of our Hearts. ~

I.J. Hall; March 17, 2009; Lolo, MT

Energy of Life

As I wipe the sweat off my forehead
I feel in a different way the Energy of Life
In this case, from cutting wood
Not just any wood, Good-Luck-Beaver-Charm-Sticks
Left lying around Pond, by my friends.

This is a labor of love in a way:
Love of life, love of nature, self-love
And I can now assemble these charming sticks
Statuesquely to hold colorful flowers
Arranged in an elegant fashion inspired by
The Japanese form of flower art, Moribana.

This is a spiritual path in silence and grace:
Contacting the exotic beauty that otherwise
To the untrained eye, would go unseen
Or what is worse, missed and unappreciated.

This is a way of combining in peace:
Another element wholly of nature
Giving back the Energy of Life to each
And to all who see and feel this connection
From simple wood blessed to nourish beaver
Into an eloquent statement of life and love.
Amen.

I.J. Hall; October 5, 2003; Scio "Beaver Pond" OR

Wisdom

In my poems in the past
I have danced all around the subject of Wisdom.
Not because I don’t know what it is,
Although there may be some kernel of truth to that,
But because my understanding of it
is growing with each new Sunrise.

Now I will tempt the fates on a blank sheet of paper
To write what wants to come spontaneously-
To go where no man or woman has gone
An adventurer of the intellectual world of our culture
Blah, blah, blah. -rather than simply forcing the issue
As it is to construct a poem from rhyme or reason.

But this once, I want to fill a void
To repair a gap in my explanations,
One which is likely best displayed
by what is not said, however.

And this very point is the essence of Wisdom.
It is what becomes clear for a reader
after all is said and done.
It is the learning gain, that flash of realization
too often for me transitory,
That waltzes off the page in tune,
but not necessarily in unison
with the inspiring words
Composed so carefully by cognoscenti.

So the risk of writing about Wisdom
Is that by taking off his costume
The wearer is exposed as less than beautiful.
Telling the message of the punch line
usually turns a joke into a story.

And that is the risk I encounter here
In talking about Wisdom,
I may inadvertently begin and end
just showing my own ignorance,
exposing my marvelous limitations;
Which is something I am loath to do.

One might say about Wisdom: It is
“…knowledge gained and used forthrightly
in positive and constructive ways
to help humanity…” so I did.

But does that spark a light of recognition?
Or, simply state in so many words
what can be taken from a decent dictionary.
Wisdom ought to be left mysteriously intact
rather than dissected or over-analyzed

As one of so many abstract nouns
About which Wisdom itself is so well informed
Like Love, Happiness, Contentment, Luxury…
There is no end to the resources these words suggest.

So why should Wisdom, which contains all these
be thought less of, or trivialized by
practical or even complex explanations?
So from here I choose to give it a rest
And simply bring an end to this peroration,
A very wise thing to do!

End

I.J. Hall February 5, 2004

The Tao of Love

I.J. Hall November 3, 2003

It is, inevitably, hard to say goodbye
Even when for such a brief interlude
We shared only a casual good will.
The fading brightness of one so fair
Hurts my hope of knowing such beauty,
Yet I cannot accept a lesser prize,
Choosing instead to remain in solitude.

My Vision dims ever so slightly
As my age accumulates, leaving its traces
Taking its toll, graying my wishful vigor.
Those years that blessed me are now my bane
Disguising my passionate and loveable nature
Behind a mask of uncomfortable smiles
That shames those who know better youth.

These lines carved into a rugged visage
Have hardened over an unbelieving mind
Hiding a Soul that remains open and daring
Mocking my erstwhile romantic inclination;
Thus being alive in futility is no great blessing.

Those few happy moments we shared
Were a bouquet that graced my hand
Now wilted as your sacred nature whispers
The truth of our unmatched blooming.
That transient beauty has its own tao
And I was the beneficiary of that Peace,

But knowing the glory of what might have been
Makes its passing all the more solemn.
We are blessed each by different gods. So
I say goodbye to my presumptive love
Before you make any greater sacrifice
And Hello to a new friend, casual and safe.

I must now expand spirituality on my own
And adjust my unwanted intentions,
But for doing this I am well equipped,
Having initiated this wise choice in similar goodbyes
I now witness the kindness of your demur.
Ciao.

Upon Being a Father

To KenBaba and Ben Jacob March 30, 1995

This poem gives me permission
To write emotions suppressed or forgotten.
Recently I began to write poems
Expressing ideas otherwise too difficult to say.
So this is my first attempt to explain
The meaning of having children – even sons.

These memories are distinct.
Time does not erase the compelling need to parent.
Your mother was equally willing
And seemed to share the same instinct for parenthood.
Getting engaged was in part a consequence of
This drive to have children.
The rest of that engagement and eventual marriage
Was exciting and a period which generated fond memories.

New challenges always excite me,
And parenthood was no less exciting than any other.
But what about that instinct – to have children?
Is there really such a thing?
Do we run our lives to satisfy our need
To perpetuate humanity – gene based?
Or do we see an art in participating
In a creative process that is - a given?

If there is art in life, and if life can be lived as art,
Then what role does creating life have?
Is this the ultimate connection to artistic life?
Or just a mundane, physical copulation?

I have seen people worried about the purpose of life
Who wandered aimlessly?
I have seen some of these people
Once immersed in parenthood, acknowledge a change of perspective.
Parenthood in their case, as with my own,
Gave an enriched meaning to life.

When you first see this tiny red,
Ugly offspring it is for a moment off-putting.
But only for a moment because
The natural bonding process continues quickly.
Bonding continues, I say, because this has already begun
With the kicks and movement in the womb.

There is a sense of pride, a fascination
With being part of a very natural, joyous process.
There is the deep satisfaction of sharing
This unfolding life-giving experience with someone you love.
Then comes the thrill of together holding,
Touching and the prospect of nurturing this infant.

There is no charm so great
As the pleasure passed between parents at the birthing.
There can be an intricate connection
Between each parent and the child, and between parents.
The bonding process between parent and child
Continues with each new diaper.

In this flush of glory the taste of life,
Like mother’s milk, is subtle and delicately sweet.
Too soon the child walks, gains independence
But the parent never forgets those early connections.

So on this day of memorial let me present to you
Those intimate sentiments as a gift.
Unashamed, unembarrassed, proud,
I remain, your father in spite of some treacherous years.
It is my hope now, as it was earlier,
That this bonding and love be shared by both your parents.
That you would be happy, fruitful,
And a continuing blessing to both your parents, as well.

end
By: Irvin H. Jacob

Dharma: the poem

I.J. Hall
January 14, 2004

Here I am at the top of these pages
Resting, willing to record whatever comes--
To listen serenely for the voice of my poetic muse
With whom I have consorted during this past year
In productive ways. She wants some prompting,
An idea, perhaps, to spark her imagination.
She may be still, tranquilly asleep beside me
While I lie, sleepless, yet it’s too early to rise.

The sound I hear is the sound of quiet.
There are no challenging dreams floating
In my half-sleep state. I must recognize
This as a victory of contentment, calmness.
A flaccid pulse brings tidings of internal peace;
There is no longing. This solitary vigil
Feels like a comfortable and happy place
Where anyone else might likewise be content,

So I am content as well, here, alone.
Here is where the center of my Soul is.
Here is where the center of my Universe is
Radiating from this vertex in all directions
With infinite, symmetrical dimensions of equally
Incomprehensible distance. In every direction,
Even through the Core of Earth, as through
My Core of Vision and creative spirit, it reaches.
I see this as a source of limitless possibilities.

Neither is there a limit to my happiness
For it needs no external cause celebre.
It can grow healthy and bloom quite nicely
On its own, thank you, and that is peace.
So in this very passive waiting for inspiration
I have received and transcribed a sublime truth
With the least possible effort. That must be
The way it comes, the erstwhile Messiah,

When you least expect the Second, the third
Or fourth Coming arrives to guide you.
This sense of ease, is a friendliness-
The same sense now in this prone posture
That I felt when touching Buddha’s feet
And hands of so many different, perfect images.

Before I left for tropical Bangkok I questioned:
What would be the one most important event
Or experience to perform on that tourist visit
To make it into a virtuous pilgrimage of sorts?
I thought darshan, letting Buddha’s eyes see me
And me seeing into the eyes of Buddha
As do the Hindu. I learned that is wrong twice:
First it is mixing clumsily religious metaphors,
Second, the Buddha’s eyes in meditation focus inwardly.
I determined to touch as many images as possible,
Whether icon or idol, it mattered little to me
Coming from the outside, there is no difference.
Touching became my neophyte spiritual practice.

I did this in several mundane and sublime ways.
Walking respectfully barefoot on temple floors
Was the most prosaic form of respectful ‘touching.’
Then touching feet and hands of handsome
And beautiful images, mock worship, but in privacy
I placed the gold foil, lit the pleasant incense,
Also candles, placed the lotus bud just so, and Sabbai,
Heard incomprehensible and redundant prayers,
Joined two water celebrations, twice splashed
With water by the Monk’s broom, and rubbed
The oil in my hair. I knelt until my feet hurt,
My knees and legs cramped, holding hands together
Just below my nose, Namaste’ in every greeting.

And all this time being receptive to my feelings
As I had experienced in Constellation settings,
Feeling from the depth of my Soul in sympathy.
It was in those moments of touching when I felt calm,
Friendliness, and acceptance as I share even here
Just lying. Resting, I can recall that contentment,
A pleasant feeling, not exciting but subtle.

I look around my room and am reminded
Of other touching -- bargaining and buying images
Inviting eight more Buddha to join my home.
I see these from every angle, two from here
One Theravada and one Mahayana, images,
Teachers of the same Dharma, one meditating,
One laughing in the rain under his umbrella.

So this special touching was a lesson for me;
Thus have I heard the ‘still, small voice.’
In the same way for others, meditation releases
As adherents progress into intense devotion,
A subjectivity removed from external reality.
I am for now content to be a Naga, “snake”
The Beginner, connected to life. I am before Novice
Still struggling to spell the new words correctly,
Let alone pronounce these or use Sanskrit;
I barely manage common English usages.

I am just stepping barefoot over the threshold
Of awareness, but already feeling the blessings,
Feeling befriended. This is the best description
Of how I felt as I touched so many Buddha feet.
I felt equal, peer, welcomed, honored, humbled,
Accepted – finally appreciating, sensitive to the simple smile
On those peaceful faces. In each Wat I visited,
The face of Buddha was different, meditating,
Showing absence of suffering, contentment.
So when I smile I am reminded of this inspiring goal
To feel and show my own peace, accepting happiness.
This may be the most sacred lesson of Dharma. I feel

It doesn’t need to be more complex than this.
Meditation sutras assist Samadhi overcome
The obstacles, to rise beyond worldly suffering
That interferes with peaceful contentment
And spiritual purity. It seems intuitively obvious
To take down the mental barriers and accept
The Friendship of Buddha. That feels right, and
A worthwhile state of mind with which to end.

Pace

Bodhicitta: Higher Truth

Bodhicitta: Higher Truth from Satipatthana Sutta
This is a new book that presumes A: that there are people who have an interest in and need to improve their lives, and B: that the author can actually convey something useful on this subject in a meaningful way.
Definition of Bodhicitta: the mind/heart aspiring to achieve enlightenment for others.

“Buddhist teachers often describe [Bodhicitta] as limitless loving kindness, an active orientation toward seeking the betterment of everyone instead of one's own selfish benefit alone. Practicing Bodhicitta involves bringing our Buddha nature out into the world with our intention and with each one of our thoughts, words, and deeds. The Dalai Lama says, 'The highest perfection of altruism, the ultimate altruism, is Bodhicitta complemented by wisdom. Bodhicitta –the aspiration to bring about the welfare of all sentient beings and to attain Buddhahood for their sake –is really the distilled essence, the squeezed juice of all the Buddha's teachings.' Wisdom and compassion, truth and love in action, are actually inseparable.”
(Surya Das, pg. 15)

Chapter 1: Purification of beings

The Main Idea:
The main thrust of this book is to discuss the way in which the Satipatthana meditation scheme can be used to convey the experienced practitioner of Buddhism along a path of purification to Nirvana. Each of the chapters discusses some portion of these essential teachings and processes with the goal of enabling the reader to become proficient in using this technique, and capable of understanding why it is important to do so. The first chapters are identified in the closing words of Satipatthana: “This is the direct path for the purification of beings, for the overcoming of sorrow & lamentation, for the disappearance of pain & distress, for the attainment of the right method, & for the realization of Unbinding — in other words, the four frames of reference.” The remaining chapters elaborate topics, guide the practices that follow from these, or seemed compelling and useful.
In Chapter 1 I want to also firmly establish the existence of Higher Truth and what that means. For a long time skeptic and atheist, this understanding was slow coming and resisted, until I finally "got it" in the way that I convey in this book. An entire book is required because sound bites and slogans won’t work to convey this understanding to most freethinkers; these quick phrases never worked for me. Those who come to this book to learn “super-natural truths” will likely be disappointed, but those for whom natural truths still hold mystery and offer the excitement of learning new secrets; they will be rewarded. Dhamma is defined as the “the secret of nature that must be understood in order to develop life for the highest possible benefit.” (Buddhadasa, 1988, pg. 1) Even electricity holds many mysteries and if I were to study the secrets of electricity and electro-magnetism more, I would surely be excited by learning some mystifying natural truths. Likewise for the task of studying and learning by practicing Satipatthana; the natural truths of Dhamma, which at first seem mystifying, are the Higher Truths referred to in the title of this book.
For those for whom no convincing is required, knowing the why of doing Buddhism in particular is a liberation itself. For the rest of us, the answer to “why” is connected to the non-physical meaning of the word Buddha. Historically speaking we accept that there was a mortal man who practiced what he preached for some forty-five years about 2500 years ago. He was given the title “Buddha” but we want to understand beyond that prosaic way, to internalize “…the Truth which the historical Buddha realized and taught, namely the Dhamma itself… The Dhamma is something intangible [an abstraction.] …One who sees the Dhamma sees the Tathagata [One gone to thusness.] …So in Dhamma language, the Buddha is one and the same as that Truth by virtue of which he became the Buddha, and anyone who sees that Truth can be said to have seen the true Buddha… ‘The Dhamma and the Vinaya (Discipline)… shall be your teacher when I have passed away.’ Thus the real Buddha has not… ceased to exist… The real Teacher, that is, the Dhamma-Vinaya, is still with us.” (Buddhadasa, 1999, pp. 18-19) Thus it is obvious for those who already accept Buddhism as a guide for their lives that they are in an important way connected to this Higher Truth. For the rest of us, gaining this understanding will hopefully be a rewarding awakening.
Each chapter will touch on the “wider and deeper meaning” of the particular content under consideration. This is how purification enters the picture; to be thought of as a gradual process of awakening, practicing with awareness, following the precepts and becoming a compassionate, calm, wise and ethical person, thus becoming enlightened. “With that acceptance, we shall be able to know that what we have obtained from Buddhism is twofold, the first being the texts or scriptures and the second the exemplary persons in the form of both monks and lay disciples.” (Nyanasamvara, pg. XXX) And we should feel a personal affinity to these two aspects, as we repeatedly take Refuge each time more wholeheartedly.
So how does one get from a state of questioning and skeptical rationality to pursuing purification? And if we achieve that, what is our reward? These questions will remain at least partially open as we proceed. This book is intended as a sequel to the Buddhist Sutras, Thirty Lessons, so many of the assumptions and explanations for most Sanskrit (and Pali) words are discussed there. Even though we start with the basics – it is also a good review – the teachings very quickly become a complicated story; but the rewards are worth the effort.

Frame of Reference: Good Morning

Good Morning.
Look east toward the dim pink
glow as the early morning sky
loses its Star quality.
Its gestation continues as the display
of color brightens.
Your mind is lazy from sleep
so linger, enjoy this moment of
transition.
If you watch carefully you can
gain a new perspective.
Can you feel Earth's motion?
As the horizon drops ever so slowly,
Falling lower, you feel your height,
Briefly anxious, you fear the descending
Edge.
This is the moment of Truth.
Sun does not rise,
Earth and you fall forward
into its gaze.
The pink shading encircling the globe
erupts into an orange-yellow epiphany as you
accept this motion and
acknowledge Earth's rotation.
The descent broadens as the pale
yellow glow turns blue,
the day matures and your
sensation of movement fades.
You have in this moment
perceived yourself as part of Universe.
You have felt the fear and humility
only your species can comprehend.
Does this simple truth awaken other
questions about who you are?
Why you're here?
These questions come to mind
as easily as the erroneous concept
of the rising Sun.
You are not caused To Be by an
unseen force any more than
Sun rises.
You are a self, a conscious,
in mathematics you are a given.
So the Why? does not apply.
Asking why is an anachronism of
the night waiting for Sun to Rise.
Ask instead: 'What' and accept the new
day as a canvas upon
which you can create your life's beauty
and do what you will.
Don't deny the fear, the anxiety of creating
your own unique answer.
Accept humbly the glory of your potential.
Find in the splendid colors of the early
morning sky the inspiration
to create a thrilling life, a
masterpiece when freely shared
with the ones you love. (IJ - August 30, 1998)

The last days in Suan Monkk

We are up as usual the third day and I crash/half asleep toward the sala to open the day with meditation as during each previous day. "In the dark comfort
candlelight flickers
enclosing the sala in a dim curtain."
The routine of the day begins to unfold as a quieting factor, reducing distractions.
We go to Yoga and I try to be moderate. I find myself staggering around with my balance disturbed by my reduced blood supply associated with the atrial-fibrillation, but I try to walk mostly normal.
Occasionally I check my pulse just to humor myself, the beat is so irregular it feels like some kind of jazz rhythm, making a normal heart beat seem so boring.
To breakfast at 8:00 with the same rice can-gee (although I am not sure that is what I should call it.) Then back to my cell for a nap.
Mindfulness of breathing is what unlocks all other considerations (the remaining 12 follow almost automatically.) That is what we are taught. The teaching and emphasis of Anapanasati has changed since I read about it. And of course that is what I came here for, to do it and learn the nuance, rather than the simple crude knowledge.
We did more walking meditation today. A monitor lizard came bye, sticking out his tongue in doubt and disgust.
The fourth step (tetrad) is a training, (single-pointed guarding the breath) for the insight into the next 12 steps used as objects of meditation.
Vedana, feeling support of mindfulness, is seen as rapture (jhana) and only process that operates as mind conditioning.
My thought in contrast suggests: This is not "buddhism" but hollow teaching of bliss and rapture. They have rebelled against the useful symbols of Buddhist ritual because of misuse and superstitions of most Buddhists. But in doing so they have not preserved the aesthetic beauty of the Thai religion.
However, I observe that they have their own esoteric superstition, but just not the same ones. This might be the "Unitarianism" of Buddhism where they try to appreciate the essence of all religion. We progress to walking meditation, introduction to chanting as before, and the day progresses by routine.
By noon of the fourth day, I feel my left hip and leg being seriously strained. I take some aspirin and that helps a little, but my leg is becoming a serious distraction.
In the morning of the fifth day I wake and roll out of bed. For just a few seconds I notice there is a stiffness or a kink in my left hip and move to rotate my leg, "shake it out" which turns out to be a mistake and I pinch my nerve and find myself in terrible pain. Now what do I do? I can hardly walk. I start off for the meditation sala by using the walking stick I found yesterday. I barely make it and stand by my seat in serious discomfort trying not to disturb anyone around me. I decide I can't go to yoga of course, and I can only walk a short distance without stopping to let the pain subside. I make it to breakfast and don't have any appetite. After breakfast I stick around and ask for medication, they have some pain pills but it doesn't do me any good. I ask for ice and try that, but it doesn't help. I return to my room, and try to lie down but can't find a position to be comfortable. I decide I have to leave to visit a hospital to get some pain medication, at least some ibuprofen. I pack and struggle to get to the central dinning hall. I arrange for a ride to town but have to wait until 3:00 in the afternoon. The driver of the abbot takes me to town and I check in to the hospital. The young doctor interviews me and prescribes a shot for pain, and then some muscle relaxers etc. The visit to the hospital costs about three dollars. I decide that I need to return to Bangkok, so I ride to the train station on the back of a motorcycle carrying my rather large back/pack suitcase on my lap. I wait for the train in the heat (about 98F)and humidity (about 95%.) The train comes and takes me to a station in Sura Tani about 15 miles from the airport. Then I get a pickup/taxi and ride on the back of this covered pickup truck to the airport. The driver helps me (so we can find change, and he can get paid.) I get an airplane (about $75.00) to return to Bangkok. By now the pain shot medication has faded, but I am taking the other pills and manage to limp along by leaning forward. Kenbaba (my son) picks me up, and I am back to civilization, disgruntled for not having been able to stay for the entire retreat. But I did get some training, perhaps the most useful part.
Perhaps I will try again.

Day two of the retreat.

The bells at 4:00 are less unwelcome, since I woke a half-hour earlier to the raucous sound of some huge birds squabbling in the trees that grow in the courtyard of this men's dormitory. And I dress quickly after rinsing my body by dipping a bowl into the water tub outside my door. That is the way we clean ourselves and I will do my laundry in the same way on day four.
We move to meditation before 4:30 and sit and wait for whomever. Ajan Po comes and describes "catching" which is a way of focusing on the perceptions of our senses as they come into the "sense doors." I have thoughts about mindfulness, and wonder if it is really only 1/100th part of Buddhism. One of eight steps on the Eight Fold Path, which is one of four of the Four Noble Truths, which is one third part of the Triple Gems (three refuges) (dharma). Thus 8x4x3=96. Obviously an essential part that effects nearly everything else, but so are all the teachings interrelated. Therefore, why so much emphasis on mindfulness? I think it is a Western fad.
Our schedule for day Two is the same as One, with some different speakers. Again Yoga with an effort to be moderate, but noticing that I can do a little more. Breakfast and Lunch as usual features rice with Chinese savory cabbage: "I want to thank the caterpillar who left some of this savory organic cabbage for me."
At 2:30 the English monk clarified a little the background and importance of the sixteen step Anapanasati teaching of meditation. One important aspect is to chase or follow the breath rather than immediately identify a point and "guard" the breath, which is often taught and is actually step four of Anapanasati. He said this is very important to develop the "following" (which is also taught in Tibetan Buddhism.)
More walking meditation practice to break up the day, some more chanting and then tea at 6:00. After the 7:30 meditation we did a group night walking meditation and I found that I had difficulty with my balance but managed to go anyway. Those behind me must think I am drunk or drinking on the side. The stars were bright and beautiful around the several reflecting pools that during the day are full of pond muck and algae.
Sleep comes easily in spite of the hard surface my body confronts.

The retreat day one.

Up in the morning at the sound of the bells at 4:00 am is like being jerked by a chain. I get up but don't wake up until sometime along the dark path to the meditation hall, which is an open barn with a sand covered floor. I have already taken a seat so I arrange my cushions and initially sit. Then I decide to stand before the session starts to save my sitting muscles for the time when someone is talking. I am the only one standing however, but I suspect that later others will discover the advantage of doing so. Ajan Po, the local Abbot was the first to come to give us a welcome. His English is barely decipherable for me, a native speaker, and I imagine the others in the audience who are ESL are having even a more difficult time. But possibly hearing the words is just as important as hearing the message which is standard fare. About this I wrote:
The monk Ajhan Po
sits as a golden bronze lotus
and earnestly tries in his broken English
to make us whole.
We sit watching our breathing, in and out, long breaths, short breaths, chasing or following from the nose to the abdomen and back, etc. Mindfulness is just about initially following the breath, and later we presumably put that technique to more esoteric use.
We are after a short while sent to our Yoga session. I endeavor to follow the leader carefully, which, in spite of how cautious and careful I am, will prove to be fateful.
After Yoga we return to the meditation hall and listen to someone say something and sit in silence, a lot of silence, until 8:00, time for our breakfast gruel (which is probably labeled con-gee'.)
After breakfast we are to take up our one work task, but mine is to be done after lunch, so I troop to my room for a nap which is very welcome.
Back in the hall at 10:00 for more meditation laced with discussions of how to watch your breath, and how to live a better life. It turns out that the content of the lectures are of less importance and less memorable than the actual practice of simply breathing. We are discouraged from writing anything during the retreat because this might create distractions, and this process is all about minimizing distractions, so that our minds can mindfully follow our breath without more immediate thoughts challenging our attention, so I didn't keep a diary, as directed.
We are given a lesson in three part walking meditation, and then five part walking meditation, which practice is designed to help us learn to see reality as it is in each grueling detail -- elsewhere called "direct awareness". We are eventually sent off to practice this walking meditation until the lunchtime at 12:30. Lunch is rice with a topping and a few bananas and is the same every day. Our schedule is more or less the same each day, all the better to reduce distractions.
After lunch I return to my room and take out the garbage to burn it, not much of a fire but I do my job in silence. I return to my concrete slab for a nap. Then wake up in a jerk and in a sweat of course, since it is 30 C even in my cool room. I still have a half hour, "what to do", I meditate and half/sleep meditate until the bells ring. Then back to the meditation hall at 2:30 to hear the English man who has been a monk here for the last twenty years. Of course he is coherent, and humorous, interesting to listen to, but strangely dismissive of the impact of the retreat, and the potential for any significant happening in such a short time.
He indicates that the first four steps of Anapanasati are the most important and dismisses the impact or usefulness of the others (12). This is a surprise to me, and leads eventually to my conclusion that this meditation scheme is little more than a different "brand" of the mindfulness meditation that is taught in numerous other retreats across the world, and is therefore nothing particularly special and I needn't have gone to all the trouble to come here.
After his one hour session we go out to practice walking meditation, then back to the meditation hall for a short lecture by one of the nuns that run the place, apparently mostly as volunteers. Her English, again is challenging, and leads me to write later: "If you repeat the same phrase often enough, the most profound meaning is bound to break loose; or will it?" This nun leads an optional chanting session in another building which I attend and follow along in the back of the hall, wondering what is happening if anything: Do these chants make my Heart more pliable and amenable to development?
At 6:00 we go to the mess hall for tea or hot chocolate. Then a break until 7:30, no dinner, that's the Buddhist monk way, no eating after lunch. I don't seem to be hungry, perhaps thinking about the rice and gruel keeps my thoughts of the physical pleasure of eating at bay. It's dark by 7:30 and we sit in silence: "Staggering in the dark is who I am." I notice that because of the affect of my atrial fibrillation my inner ear has a diffcult time keeping me balanced, and in the dark this affect is even worse. We listen and meditate and brush away the mosquitoes on suicide missions.
Mindfulness of breathing is what unlocks all other considerations.
Bedtime by 9:30 with lights out and electricity off.

Past Time

It is past time that I recall and record the events associated with my travel to Suan Mokkh in southern Thailand, (near Chaiya and Sura Thani)where there is a retreat center and monastery devoted to the teaching of "mindfulness." On March 30 I traveled by "express" train west then south along the peninsula of Thailand, just a few miles across the mountains from Myanmar. First we passed rice fields, gradually changing to banana plantations and coconut orchards. I left at 8:00 and landed there about 16:30 with my one backpack suitcase in tow and an occasional smile on my face. As I disembarked I noticed similarly situated English speakers determined to go to the same place where I was headed, so I got their attention and we formed a loose group and made our way along the streets following a person who seemed to be expecting us and seemed to know where we were all going. Somehow four of us with our luggage crammed into a small car and we were taken to the monastery about 8 miles north (I think) of town. One guy couldn't fit so he came a little later somehow.
We were deposited in a heap in front of a small market area that spanned out on both sides of an old metal gate. Someone suggested that we needed perhaps to go through the gate and up the trail, they seemed to have been there before, or possibly they had dreamed it. I bought some water and took the straps out of my suitcase/backpack and stumbled up the rough trail about 1/4 mile until the reception area was clearly in view. I began reading various signs and notices, until I found a schedule, a sign in book, and got the general impression that I along with the dozen or so others by that time, were all in the right place. Someone was instructed to proceed to the men's dormitory and I determined to follow him. There was no charge for staying there the night before the retreat was to start, some of this I remembered from having read the web site prior to my arrival.
The trail to the dormitory was not marked, but we followed a well used path, avoiding roots and offering greetings to the two monkeys (apes?)that were having a late afternoon snack. This monastery was in a lush forest with considerable undergrowth and lush decaying leaves in between the few open areas that were variously used for drying laundry or walking meditation. The general impression was one of untidiness and disrepair, with some of the outbuildings crumbling in disuse or doors rusted shut.
Dormitories were somewhat better and looked habitable; we chose one and entered where there were obvious signs of use, found the mosquito nets in a box, the bamboo mats, on two flat wooden platforms along the length of the walls, screened openings for windows and two rows of posts holding the floor above. I spread out the mat and Kenbaba's (my son's)cushion camping mat, and hung the net, more or less following the pattern of the others. With that I was ready for a cozy night's sleep on the flat hard surface. There was a shower and a toilet nearby, so we were fixed for the night, which was still hot and muggy and I was drenched in sweat, so proceeded to change and clean myself before dark. I was rather uncomfortable with a pain in my back, which I had thought was a muscle cramp, but which I eventually deduced was in my liver or kidney because of all the medication I was taking for my heart issue. I finally resolved to stop taking the meds, and in fact the next two days brought relief from this pain, but not before spending an agonizing night trying to find a position to lie where I was not assaulted by serious back pain.
The morning came before daylight with the rather serious ringing of bells at 4:00 am. I got up and relieved by fatigue from trying to sleep, walked around and found no one doing anything in particular and went back to sleep for a couple hours. I was up for the new day before 7:00 am, as per the schedule, which didn't really seem to be much of a schedule, but finally a group formed and we determined that we were to walk across the highway via the pedestrian bridge and wait for a truck. We were too many for the truck but we were able to onload our luggage then walk the two miles or so along the road leading to the retreat compound. When we got there we sat in a mass waiting for further instructions which eventually came; we signed in, surrendered our passports, paid our bht2,000, and were given a key for our individual rooms, boys in one dorm and girls in another. There were about 100 attendees eventually, straggling in during the day, about half male/female, from probably 30 countries, who were required to speak English because the retreat was led in English. (I was in room 205. My job was to burn the daily garbage and used toilet paper.) We went to our rooms before lunch and hung our mosquito nets, laid our bamboo mats on the concrete shelf/bed and unpacked our luggage, settling in.
Lunch was rice and two different toppings, one with hop pepper, I chose the green bland one. This was typical each day as it turned out, with bananas and zesty cabbage which had obviously been grown organically.
We watched a video about Suan Mokkh, Buddhadasa Bikkhu the founder, and Anapanasati in the afternoon, then at 7:30 we met for "orientation". I had studied this kind of meditation so I was reasonably prepared for what was to come. After this main meeting, still before the first day, we were required to be silent, no talking among ourselves or during meetings except those few times when questions were invited. The silence is to reduce the quantity of distractions, reduce the arising of additional mental wanderings, eliminate any male/female interactions even between spouses, and practically, I suspect, it makes the administration of the retreat a whole lot easier because most questions people might have, and it was true for me, were answered in a day or two of patient listening. I think I fell asleep on the concrete bed in about 10 seconds after lying down, in spite of the unaccustomed hardness and the wood block pillow.
This was the beginning of my meditation retreat, which seemed like a mystery/treasure hunt, not knowing what to do next, but somehow finding a few clues that kept me going in the right direction with only minimum detours. The retreat itself comes in the next post.

Coasting Along

Just an update on my prognosis. I seem to be doing alright, which is just a notch below just fine. I have woozy symptoms when I walk, I should be using a cane, or one of those sexy four wheeled slider-walkers just so I don't fall, but I haven't quite got to that point yet. My heart beat is still fouled up, atrial fibrillation, and I take pills to lower my blood pressure, one to kill rats, one to reduce bad cholesterol another for something I've forgotten why, and a vitamin just for good measure. Once my rat poison (warfarin) medicine is stable for three weeks or so they will shock me if my heart hasn't retreated to is normal beat by that time. In the mean time I get to go to San Antonio to visit 4 grandchildren Mar 15-22, and then to Thailand Mar 25-April 20 to visit two more, and all that time I have to keep taking pills and be monitored for levels and such. But I can "live a normal life" the doctor said. No problem mate! I can do that. I taught school half a day yesterday, and am scheduled to teach a full day tomorrow, PE. I expect to sit and watch the kids and walk around enough just to get some exercise.
Today I tried to keep up with spring by digging up some misplaced tulips that showed up in the middle of the back yard. I transplanted them into three new pots that I bought last weekend (Libby paid for them because I used her card ;-)) and once the season is over we will put them in some logical border area somewhere. I happen to love tulips so I am quite happy they showed up. Can't wait to see what color they are!!!
I had a nice relaxing dip in the hot tub.
It is rather pleasant here, albeit cold. We can see West and South out over the Palouse hills and watch the weather coast along and come sliding past our sentinel firs, with the new fronts and black clouds followed by blue patches of clean, fresh winter sky.

The heart of irony.

Atrial fibrillation
I've got it and here's what it is:
a supraventricular tachyarrhythmia. Paroxysmal atrial fibrillation is associated with increased morbidity and mortality, in part due to the risk for thromboembolic disease. Atrial fibrillation treatment using medications or ablation may reduce recurrence, control ventricular rate, and reduce stroke risk. Management of atrial fibrillation symptoms should emphasize risk assessment, treatment, and monitoring according to established atrial fibrillation guidelines.

I am taking pills to reduce my blood pressure, and pills to reduce the risk of a blood clot. I hate this part. But apparently this has been the cause of some dizzy spells I have experienced. Hopefully the current episode of irregular heartbeat will correct itself in the next few weeks. If I still feel woozzy I may not be able to go to Thailand on March 25.

Definition
By Mayo Clinic staff

During atrial fibrillation, the heart's two upper chambers (the atria) beat chaotically and irregularly — out of coordination with the two lower chambers (the ventricles) of the heart. Atrial fibrillation is an irregular and often rapid heart rate that commonly causes poor blood flow to the body and symptoms of heart palpitations, shortness of breath and weakness.

Atrial fibrillation can also cause fatigue and stroke. It's often caused by changes in your heart that occur as a result of heart disease or high blood pressure. Episodes of atrial fibrillation can come and go, or you may have chronic atrial fibrillation.

Although atrial fibrillation itself usually isn't life-threatening, it is a medical emergency. It can lead to complications. Treatments for atrial fibrillation may include medications and other interventions to try to alter the heart's electrical system.

So now that I have been diagnosed and am under treatment it solves a few mysteries and I feel more confident that I can live comfortably and in a more or less normal way. The irony is that my last post in this blog was about the allegorical Heart, and I was suggesting how important the development and appreciation of the role of the Heart is in implementing the useful principles of Buddhism. So it goes.