Wages of Love

Why does love charge such high wages?
It scorns those who choose it.
It tempts those who from wisdom deny it
and in wisdom seek a substitute
for their claim is no less vain
than the poorest tenant to the land.
Charging money would not hurt more
than the pain filled purse it takes.

Love comes at the most awkward times,
even between two otherwise committed.
It touches the weakest hearts first
then insinuates itself ruthlessly
into even the stoutest breast.
The fluted sounds of Pan echo in the wind
And tempt me to dance and sing
Even when my mind bares the burden of despair.

No matter how artfully I avoid it,
a cunning stealth cloaks its master
who releases the tyrant ten times again
in order to claim its rent, and I
the victim, hapless creature, dumbly succumb.
While the spell is over my eyes
I am content and lazy with my tears.
But when cruel fortune claims its due,
I cry and ache like now
with my throat in its grip, strangling.
These tears are too dry to pay the cost.
I fail to make the bail against my captors.
This constricted tongue adds nothing
except to gag my shrunken, sallow soul.

Yet I fancy that trying to love again
Is somehow a noble effort?
But in truth it is a savage simplicity,
a blind instinct that compels me forward
into the jaws of death.
Courageous imbecile, unruly heart
no better, no more noble than my rooster
who would wake the world at 5:30 AM
if he could.

What a wicked diet this truth.
Its nourishment is a phantom.
These calories deposit in ugly heaps
yet fail to mask the wounds of love.
What a dismal solitude survives
this hoary ordeal of requited love gone bad.
The only respite is the darkness
that shrouds my loneliness,
and numbs my careless passion
with a sleep that brings no pleasure.
Cruel fate, be damned I say.

Would I be a happier person now
had I never contracted with this wicked sorcerer?
Is one who lies innocent of these ecstasies
all the better, not paying with a tormented spirit?
Or is this tax charged the same for all?
But since I am captured by it,
I am damned in love or out.
If thus, I am better off damned in love.
End