Buddhism - Heart - UU Speech

The Heart of Buddhism

Today I want to examine how we can use Buddhist teachings and practice to ...develop our hearts, and find ways to be compassionate in everything we do.
There are many misinterpretations and a good deal of misinformation about Buddhism in our Western intellectual tradition. Each of these misconceptions is worthy of a Sunday presentation, but today I want to clarify and explain my understanding of the “Heart” – and to do this I will discuss a few issues based on the usage of a special language or jargon used by the dhamma traditions. This special jargon is what is in great part the cause of these misconceptions.
Now, in order to say what I have just said and be understood, I have necessarily used ordinary language, the language we learn and use in public school. Since we are so familiar... with everyday language… we often fail to realize the existence of other quite different and special languages: [for example the languages of academic disciplines such as Economics, or Law... ] also the language of Dhamma… is altogether different from the language of everyday.” (Buddhadasa) In many cases the words are the same but because we use these words in a particular context the meanings we assign to them are often different.
Before I finish I will give some examples of this jargon. But first I wish to clarify one point: When we read about historical Buddhism, many authors regard this teaching as a philosophy (not as a religion) because there is no deistic tradition. Buddha was asked many questions which are still being asked today such as:
Is there a God?
Who created the world?
Is there life after death?
Where is heaven and hell?
The classic answer given by Buddha was silence. He refused to answer these questions purposely because "these profit not, nor have they anything to do with the fundamentals of the religious life, nor do they lead to Supreme Wisdom, the Bliss of Nirvana." Even if answers were given, he said, " there would still remain the problems of birth, old age, death, sorrow, lamentation, misery, grief, and despair--all the grim facts of life--and it is for their extinction that I prescribe my teachings."
Buddhism is essentially religious because the teachings lead sincere adherents into having their own experiences that become life changing. No amount of academic or intellectual activity (developing concepts or philosophizing) can replace the experience that comes from diligent and repeated meditation along with sharing with other members of the Sangha.
So even though there is no deistic tradition, Buddhism is not strictly speaking an atheist philosophy, this understanding is left up to each individual, a matter of the Heart. Indeed many people find it possible to continue in their religious traditions and still embrace Buddhism.
How far do we need to go in conforming to the traditions of Buddhism? The Buddha didn’t want his followers to become intellectual slaves to any dogma or teacher, least of all to himself. There are taught ten principles that enable us to discern with our Hearts the teachings which are truly capable of improving our lives. I will not list all of these-- but briefly:
do not accept and believe just because something has been passed along and retold through the years or has become a tradition...
do not accept and believe merely because of the reports and news spreading far and wide
nor... anything written because... The words can be created, improved, and changed by human hands. We need to use our powers of discrimination to see how those words can be applied to quenching our suffering.
do not believe just because something fits with the reasoning of logic ...what we call ‘logics,’ can go wrong if its data or its methods are incorrect [or incorrectly applied.]”
do not believe or accept just because something appeals to one’s common sense ...or agrees with one’s preconceived opinions and theories.
do not believe just because the speaker appears believable. Outside appearances and the actual knowledge inside a person can never be identical.
do not believe just because the preacher, the [charismatic] speaker, is ‘our teacher.’ believe only after adequately considering the advice and putting it to the test of practice… Intellectual and spiritual freedom is best.” (Buddhadasa, 1999, pp. 2-5) This is the same way that we go about developing our Hearts.

Now I will give some examples of this special Buddhist language. And I want to emphasize that this is much the same phenomenon that occurs in other religions, certainly in Islam compared to the language used by Catholics, they may use similar words in more or less the same ways but the meanings are very different, and Protestants use most of the same words as Catholics, but now after nearly a thousand years of being divided the meanings are often different.
For Buddhism it is taught that: “Having perceived Dhamma, they speak in terms appropriate to their experience, and so Dhamma language comes into being.” This explanation is intended to suggest how the “jargon” of Buddhism developed, not to suggest an elite, secret, or esoteric language.
Buddhism teaches that our existence is, thusness, tathagata, suchness, what is, the here and now. In many places in Buddhist texts the word ‘birth’ and ‘rebirth’ are used but this is a specialized usage. “In everyday language, the word ‘birth’ refers to physically coming into the world... In Dhamma language, the word ‘birth’ refers to the birth of the idea ‘I’ or ‘ego’ that arises in the mind throughout each day. In this sense, the ordinary person is born very often, time and time again;... a person well advanced in practice (ariyan, noble one) is born less frequently still, and ultimately ceases being born altogether [arahant.]” (Buddhadasa) Because they live without “I” and ego guiding their lives.
Thus the idea that finding nirvana is about gaining enlightenment and thus not needing to suffer again from another reincarnation, is a misinterpretation of Buddhism, although this is taught in many Hindu traditions. In most Buddhist traditions today, “rebirth” is about what is happening in our daily lives.
For most people Buddhism is a very pragmatic teaching: one teacher warns: “If we bring magical and sacred things into Buddhism, it will become just more bowing to and worshiping holy things, requesting whatever we want without doing anything. That's a religion of begging and pleading; that isn't Buddhism at all. Instead, we must behave and practice in correct accordance with the law of nature ... “ (Buddhadasa) These instructions are as democratic as the nature of the very earliest Buddhist teachings that advocated the abolition of the caste system.
The emphasis on developing the Heart, is one case where the the western usage of “Heart” as a useful allegory is familiar and similar to the Buddhist usage. We can have a “full heart”, a “broken heart” a “soft heart” a “kind heart”, when we are in love we speak “the language of our hearts”. …. and in each case we have thousands of years of usage to corroborate a meaning for us in our ordinary language, and it is the same in all western romance languages.
In Buddhism the use of the word “Heart” -- is composed of what we ordinarily think of as our compassion, memories, mind and consciousness. This is an active allegory, one that can become the repository for our learning gains from the practice of Buddhism, thus we develop our hearts and this can be what guides our lives.
Part of my intention here today is to invite each of you to open your hearts, to have reasonable doubts. I have tried to suggest how we develop our hearts --which is the main focus of the teachings about meditation, rituals, chanting and practices of Buddhism. It is in our Hearts where we can find a space that is devoid of egocentricity, it is in our Hearts where sharing and caring originates. It is in our Hearts where we test the explanations about “creation” for example. It is in our hearts where we put aside gender distinctions that have plagued our society and can still be found in some Buddhist traditions in Asia.
Let me put this together: Recall that I said: “In Dhamma language, the word ‘birth’ refers to the birth of the idea ‘I’ or ‘ego’ that arises in the mind throughout each day. “ ---It is a universal teaching of Buddhism to get rid of the I, ego-centered life full of craving and grasping and greed – because these attitudes often lead to undesirable and unintended consequences-- But how do we eliminate the sense of my and mine? and still live a normal life?
When I realized that this teaching is based on another special use of language and that it applies to the growth and development of our Hearts, suddenly I could see how it was possible to do this. We can live a normal life working and being happy with our families, using ordinary grammar and prepositions like I, my, they, you etc., and independently develop our hearts to lead us toward developing we, our, all, and find ways to be compassionate in everything we do.
I am not here to tell you that I have actually achieved this kind of enlightened and purified heart, Libby will vouch for my need for modesty in this respect. But I want to leave you with one thought: this idea of developing our Hearts through the practice of Buddhist meditation, rather than just a simple practice of developing self-discipline, is the key to the value of Buddhism in our contemporary society.
The teachings of the religion [of Buddhism] leads to this point,-- The heart comes first, the heart is chief, the heart is the principal factor. All dhammas come down to the heart. So this is where we should straighten things out. Get so that the heart is shining and bright.” (Boowa, pg. 86) When we develop our Hearts to the point where we are guided in our actions by a gracious and thoughtful sentiment, we are following our hearts and the intention of the Buddha.

End of presentation

There are two specific meditation teachings that are often found in many different buddhist traditions: Anapanasati which is also called vipassana or using the breath to help develop concentration: and Satipatthana meditation which involves observing the body and mind to see it like it is, and just that, thusness.
In both meditation schemes it is our Hearts that rise above the five aggregates, as they are called, the crude instinctual habits of our animal lives, it is in our Hearts where we can connect to the tradition and nurturing of the ancients, it is in our Hearts that we find the energy and courage to meditate day after day, until we purify our minds and bodies. We look at breath as it passes, our postures, our daily motions and activities... also showing us our impermanent material nature... In buddhism there is no reference to looking for any spirit, eternal soul or mystical nature beyond the physical. There is nothing about “finding your true Self” or getting in touch with our higher self, because these do not exist (except possibly as abstract concepts) for Buddhists.
At different times in my life I went back to study Buddhism and practiced meditation that was presumably based on buddhism. Each of these periods is now remembered with fondness, because I'm sure I gained something even when I was doing it wrong, so to speak.

In [authentic] buddhist meditation... the task is to build up a degree of inner equipoise within which desires and discontent are held at bay. These initial stages of either Anapanasati or Satipatthana parallel sense-restraint, which combines bare sati with deliberate effort in order to avoid or counterbalance desires and discontent.” All of this effort comes from within our minds, listening to the urges of our Hearts, not from any outside source (i.e. god) influencing a “spirit” or “soul.” We are alone, but capable. “…Sense-restraint can be considered part of Satipatthana practice, particularly at those stages when desires and discontent have not yet been completely removed…” (Analayo, pp. 71-72) One point here is to demystify the way we are to see ourselves. When we can calmly view a repugnant image such as a decaying body, this is an analogy and we can view the ugliness of our own past natures and previous emotional reactions with equanimity, then we begin to take ownership and change our lives for the better.
I remember interpreting the first noble truth “life is all about suffering” or something to that effect, as a form of psychological blackmail – and teaching to convince people to follow a professional priesthood. This was my objection based on misinformation and it lasted for many years.
Instead, in buddhism we learn that living life as an art form, the very concept upon which many Buddhist teachings are based, and following enlightened ethical/moral teachings, is just as good an explanation for meaning in life than any given by a god/creator. At least it works for me. When we learn the art of developing our Hearts and using this abstract feature of our being as a source for inspiration, we have arrived at a very enlightened state, maybe not complete but it's a nice place to be. Our Hearts are not a Soul in any religious sense, but an abstract combination of our minds, memories, consciousness, and compassion both useful for ourselves and giving us the capacity to be kind and to love others. It may be more difficult to achieve this certainty, but it is also more rewarding in that it leads to peace of mind in all the ways that are taught in Buddhism and important in our Western culture.

Even though we be independent freethinkers we are still members of families and have personal responsibilities. What can be the justification for anyone to leave their families and dependents and live a life of solitude or cloister? This is actually discouraged by Buddhist teachers, and no doubt far more people are discouraged from this than are accepted into monastic orders. “So, in keeping with the fact that we're educated, we shouldn't forget the kindness of our parents [and families] who cared and provided for us before anyone else in the world. And we shouldn't forget our [historical] teachers and other benefactors. We should always keep their kindness in mind – because everything we have in body and mind has come from the care, protection, and teachings of our parents and teachers.” (Boowa) Of course there are those who had no parents and disliked their teachers, and have no spouse nor children and few filial obligations; these are the exceptions that prove the rule, so the message here is that we gain when we acknowledge the contribution of others in making our lives happier and perhaps helping us along an intriguing spiritual path. Knowing the love for our parents helps us imagine the possibility of sharing the same compassion for all of humanity.
The concept of “anatta” is central to Buddhism, in that it is taught as one of three characteristics of existence, along with impermanence (anicca) and unsatisfactoriness (dukkha). “The anatta doctrine teaches that neither within the bodily and mental phenomena of existence, nor outside of them, can be found anything that in the ultimate sense could be regarded as a self-existing real ego-entity, soul or any other abiding substance. This is the central doctrine of Buddhism, without understanding which, a real knowledge of Buddhism is altogether impossible. It is the only really specific Buddhist doctrine, with which the entire structure of the Buddhist teaching stands or falls. All the remaining Buddhist doctrines may, more or less, be found in other philosophic systems and religions, but the anatta doctrine has been clearly and unreservedly taught only by the Buddha...” (Nyanatiloka) This concept of anatta has either been corrupted by history, or misinterpreted. Stated like this-- no “self-existing real ego-entity, soul or any other abiding substance” --it is so much ahead of history and was not emphasized in the West until the time of Schopenhauer.
But For now it is enough to understand that “Everyday language and Dhamma language are two distinct and different modes of speaking… Dhamma language is the language spoken by people who have gained a deep insight into Dhamma.”
People who have a sensitivity or “intuition” about a divinely ordered universe will naturally gravitate toward the more esoteric or metaphysical teachings (of tibetan buddhist traditions, for example). People who are more “materialistic” will be more comfortable in the Theravada tradition, especially as it is taught in modern times as a rational, atheistic, aesthetic philosophy. For this latter there is no “Heaven”, no after life, no resurrection, no soul, no “rebirth”, no more… in the ordinary sense of such terminology. We just have this one chance to enjoy and benefit from our lives. Again, knowing why and how to do that is part of what it means to be enlightened. The truth of our Hearts as these become developed, is the truth that matters. “Everything within us, everything in the world, comes down to this one [refined] heart. The important essence lies here and nowhere else. So make an effort to free this heart, to straighten it out in line with your abilities – or to the utmost of your abilities. You'll then come to possess a rewarding treasure within the heart- the great, extremely rewarding treasure of the heart's own purity.” (Boowa, pg. 87) How can we have faith and depend on such an abstract, composite concept? As humans we have this capacity, and for some this is what they know as spirituality. What other choice do we have?
Thus where is the “I-ness” that we use so often in our ordinary language? There need be no “I-ness” in our abstract Hearts, but “I-ness” is found in our minds and the language (e.g. pronouns, I, mine, me, we) of our culture. This daily, ordinary usage is innocent and of no concern for enlightenment, it is the habitual egoism of our Hearts that we seek to eliminate, where it can be thought of as empty, not skillful. In our practice we develop our Hearts as the most intimate connection to the teaching of Buddhism and to humanity (and to the heritage of Buddhism) in general and this connection is without “I-ness”. Further it is by looking into our Hearts where we may find the answers to our most perplexing questions, and we find that the answers are more or less the same for everyone. Knowing this is like finding the answer to a riddle.
When a universal perspective dwells in our Hearts, there is understanding that “The body [emotions often of chemical origin] is something filled with suffering and discontent, but the heart can be filled with happiness. This is where they differ. The body is pitch dark in line with the crudeness of its elements, but the heart can be dazzlingly bright through the power of the Dhamma. This is where the heart becomes a 'Dhamma element', when it's fully bright within itself because absolutely nothing is left to obscure it.” (Boowa, pg. 86) And now we know the key to accessing all this purity. We know how to proceed, and we know that frequent and diligent practice will yield positive results eventually.
“Each arising in the mind of the idea of ‘I’ in one form or another is called a ‘birth.’ [furthermore] …To think like a celestial being is to be born a celestial being. Life, the individual, pleasure and pain, and other personifications --all these were identified by the Buddha as simply momentary states of consciousness. So the word ‘birth’ is used as an allegory, and means in Dhamma language the arising of the idea of ‘I’ or ‘me;’ and not, as in everyday language the physical birth from the mother’s womb.
The idea that Buddhism is a religion, and ought to be used that way for all the very positive benefits that a religion can convey, is important. “The teachings of the religion [of Buddhism] leads to this point, step by step, from the very beginning. The dhamma, you know, can be said to be broad, but can also be said to be narrow because it all comes down to one point – the heart. The heart is what experiences both good and evil... This is why the Buddha taught 'mano pubbangama dhamma' The heart comes first, the heart is chief, the heart is the principal factor. All dhammas come down to the heart. They don't lie anywhere else. So this is where we should straighten things out. Get so that the heart is shining and bright.” (Boowa, pg. 86)
The Heart is what controls the details of our lives once we have gone to the effort of developing it to be compassionate and virtuous. This is the home of purification --as we set out in our enlightened lives to achieve. Previously, I would not have written that statement, I didn't understand it that way and have come to understand only after I was taught by the Venerable Acariya Maha Boowa Nanasampanno, in his book, how to develop the Heart, and how essential it is to regard the “citta” as Heart. Every waking moment we resort to the information that is kindly stored in our Hearts; when we make the first contact of the day with our family members we do so with tenderness and solicitude that is prompted by the compassion that lives in our Hearts. Just like parents who are giving care to their young child; such compassion very often comes naturally, yet it comes from the Heart.
Our Hearts develop based on the ingrained habits of our chosen conduct, intentions and affinities. Whether we are extroverts or introverts, whatever the cause of these personality traits, this becomes a habit for us by the time we are adults. Some people relish the pleasure of associating with other people frequently, and some people are attracted to being alone or aloof. “This is why the various Arahant disciples excelled in different areas – each of them had developed habits emphasizing different aspects of inner goodness. There were many of them who, after becoming Arahants, didn't receive a lot of offerings or respect from people, but they excelled in other areas – all of which were aspects of the inner goodness that had helped them attain the Dhamma and gain release from suffering. But the external results still showed... An ingrained habit is something implanted deep in the heart [much like an addiction,] something we have done so consistently that it comes naturally to us, without anyone having to tell us -something we feel comfortable and right about doing, something we simply want to do, of our own accord. This is the point where it's called an ingrained habit.” (Boowa, pg. 78) The message here relates to positive ingrained habits, but negative ingrained habits operate in the same way to destroy the connections we have with our pure Hearts and with our natural Buddhahood. This implies the destructive nature of the ingrained habit of indulging in alcohol or other mind altering drugs [which are not prescription medications used appropriately.] A brief examination of our friends and acquaintances will likely reveal how some people can cope with minor alcohol or drug use, i.e. marijuana, and for others it becomes a destructive force in their lives. If our drug use encourages or enables the use by someone for whom drug use is destructive, it would be better for us to abstain than contribute to their destruction.
In buddhism other kinds of torments and suffering are described allegorically. “Rebirth after death as some kind of lower animal is the everyday meaning of rebirth into the realm of the beasts. In Dhamma language, it has a different meaning. When one is stupid, just like a dumb animal, then at that moment one is born into the realm of beasts… One may be born as a beast many times over in a single day. So in Dhamma language, birth as a beast means stupidity.” Prisons are full of people who live in the “realm of beasts,”
Another generic example of a specialized language, is found in the experience of reading a poem, initially with little understanding, then with a few clues and rereading we begin to recognize the metaphors, symbolism and poetic devices being used. The special language of the poem gives the poem a certain beauty and power not otherwise achieved. To elaborate, in Buddhism this special vernacular “... has to do with the mental world, with the intangible, non-physical world.” (Buddhadasa) Dhamma language is [most often] used to describe and express concepts that relate to what we often refer to as our “spiritual” lives.
“…When [Buddha] was expounding Higher Dhamma – for instance, when discussing conditioned arising (paticca-samuppada) – he used the word ‘birth’ (jati) with the meaning it has in Dhamma language. In his description of conditioned arising, he wasn’t talking about physical birth [or previous physical lives.] He was talking about the birth of attachment to the ideas of ‘me’ and ‘mine,’ ‘myself’ and ‘my own.” (Buddhadasa, 1999, pp. 29-30) When we train our Hearts appropriately, we can minimize the impact of this egotism, and even eliminate craving and grasping.
Skepticism and any objection to buddhist meditation-- runs contrary to numerous evidence in which meditators have attained a high level of happiness through practice… Today the fact that meditation brings about numerous benefits in life has been scientifically proven and is generally accepted.” (Ussivakul, pp. 48-50) How many of us find ourselves in the category of skeptics?: one buddhist teacher says that this is possibly an emotional response related to “…indecision and unreasonable doubt concerning the real benefits of meditation… reasonable doubt leads to knowledge of its causes which in turn could relieve the doubt…
I have found myself in this circumstance in the past, indisposed to experiencing buddhism in an appropriate way because I was simply ignorant of what the rewards might be. Further, the words may at times be the same in buddhism, and even used in more or less the same way, but we must be alert to the particular context and there being a special language (or vernacular) relating to Buddhism that distracts us from the intrinsic benefits of buddhist meditation. Consider this next example -- the idea of “pre-existence of a spiritual being” --now incorporated into each of us. This is often thought of as more than just an abstract soul or spirit, more than just our DNA. Likewise there is the teaching of the afterlife existence of our “Spirit” or some memory, Soul, or flame of consciousness. These teachings are found in many religions, and have been attributed to Buddhism by some in the Western intellectual community as being part of the cosmology of Buddhism, yet when we look at the specialized meaning of words we see that our commitment to ordinary language misleads us, takes us away from the actual Buddhist message.
There is another kind of objection to studying and practicing buddhism. This kind of skepticism is demonstrated by those who live “in a world of can’ts.” They find every possible objection to the teachings and advice because some particular circumstance in their life precludes them from engaging in a spiritual practice. This is a kind of being stuck. This kind of personal skepticism must be overcome by problem solving and by grasping the uninhibited desire to achieve relief from pain and distress.
Understanding how to develop the Heart, has been a useful realization for me recently. Because when I think of my heart as an active agent, an evolving and guiding force in my life, then I am able to understand and rationalize what I though were apparent contradictions, (and overcome misconceptions) in Buddhist teachings that have kept me away from active practice. I will explain this heart concept more in a minute.
First I want to describe another objection I had, which is described as one of the five obstacles to benefiting from meditation --- the state of mind labeled “skepticism.” This is when we are “…irrationally uncertain so much that [our] minds cannot concentrate effectively on the meditation object.” This relates to the phrase, “hardening the Heart”, used in many circumstances, and the opposite of that is simply being receptive and being open, sensitive and willing to learn and initially try out authentic Buddhist meditation. I confess that at times in the past I was a very serious skeptic.

Diaspora

Diaspora


From the depths of Space
~As from the depths of my heart

Comes the message of an ancient blessing
~Singing the truth to my Soul.

The elements of life, lifeless themselves
~My character, and the character of Man

Are meaningless and formless.
~Must create meaning and form.

But how is this a blessing?
~This is the essential art of life

Does this concept imply necessary intention?
~This legacy of man is both gift and curse.

Is intention the same as inevitability?
~We repeat errors, but is this our doom?

If an event is inevitable, predictable,
~We come together in groups,

Is it therefore intended by a sentient over-mind
~Is this natural community predetermined?

As we know it? Or rather don’t know it?
~It seems so automatic, central to life.

Does the vacuum of Space inevitably create force
~Our gene to survive moves us to adventure

As we witness with an imploding light bulb?
~As we have colonized Earth, to distraction.

This simple misperception is tempting.
~Diaspora is our curse, and our birthright.

But elements in Space attract and separate
~Yet we return and commune as One

Forced by their own persuasive energy
~Recognizing our similarities, a guiding impulse

Every two particles necessarily coalescing
~We unite for survival, in the same way we dispersed

Following the chance of proximate association
~Attaching meaning to the accident of birth,

Moving imperceptibly closer, each combining
~Uniting our hopes we develop community,

And the memory of this attraction is stored
~Tradition and ritual draw us together

In the very electric bond that unites them
~And bind our hearts and heal our Souls.

Accumulating to become life-giving elements.
~Giving us the judgment of the sages

From this grows the fundamentals for intelligence,
~And with our fertility we command all species,

For some this organizing force has come to be named god.
~But too often fail to see spirituality all around.

Unite

I.J. Hall, January 30, 2003

Vesper Vision

Vesper Vision

The Sunset is such a ballet of color on this night that otherwise
lacks any special distinction.
Beginning, a brilliant, soft blue above a gray curtain on the horizon
Is a triumphant overture to this common, pallid evening.

I was drawn from my room by an invitation of bright light
Only to be made dizzy rotating my head seeing all these facets
As they changed with such graceful movement
into other, even more indescribable colors,
For whatever reason, more poignant
than so many Sunsets I have witnessed.

Possibly this very contrast of import is what
inspires the feeling that this seeing is so special.
There is a numinous sense that this flair of hues
is brighter, more spectacular than the sum of its parts
Which are so numerous. Covering 150 degrees,
Universe in front of me is a concave array of showing
how all life is so special when endowed
with the capacity to appreciate this display as fine art.

Even the clouds behind, the eastern festival,
Evince a special significance with a dense, fluffy gray
and dark blue blending of forces,
Altogether an uncommon spectacle
that stands in stark contrast to my life where
Doing laundry was the most exciting event here on Earth.

This wet and wintry valley is a pallet of frenetic colors
Set to music as the puffy yellow cumulus layer dances overhead.
Fully half the sky is a golden cotton connecting the
Magical blue extremes just described.


As I look at these clouds repeating their harmonies
reflecting off the puddles that adorn the nearby fields
I am feeling free and relieved of so many needs.
I am sensing the capacity in myself to be content
in moments like this. There is an urge to analyze

But I wonder not how I feel so enthralled,
but why in such a particularly sensitive and intense way?
Is this sober euphoria what it feels like to understand my Soul?

As the scene changes the next movement is somehow more
breathtaking than what has past.
The delicate pinks and roses have begun to emerge,
first infecting the cirrus lines in the West
with a flamboyant and lusty gesture
Then this vermilion passion paints the bottoms of the thick front
with a taunting tango of evocative movement
convincing the weather it is too high to dampen my spirits.
To understand this blessing I only need to relax and enjoy.

As the music in the air goes quiet to also pay its homage
there is a wash of red-orange over the whole
center of this scene. This must have happened before?
I don’t recall being so emotionally charmed,
nor so receptive and invigorated by this captivating reverie.

Too soon the blushing passion of translucent purple
advances across the sky-scape blending with the gray
and sounding a melancholy harmony.
Gratefully I am feeling somehow sanctified, forgiven, mellow
embraced by a natural, simple world;
Free from the clumsy yearning for friendship but
Open to whomever might choose to share this vision.
~
I.J. Hall
February 2, 2004

Accent photo

Isn't this just a cute little car. I actually fit inside because there is plenty of space.

New car for Irv.

As a retirement gift to myself, I took advantage of the cash for clunkers Federal government purchase incentive, to sell my Ford 150 pickup (purchased in 2003 for $3,000) for $4,500 discount, and bought a new Accent, Hyundai, three door, stick shift, (silver coyote we call it because we saw one on the way to Lewiston to make the selection/purchase.) Photos are easily available on the Internet, besides I left my camera in Park City so I can't do picture downloads conveniently.

Still alive and well

In spite of the fact that I haven't posted any stories, poetry or pictures on this blog since January, I have actually done a lot of other stuff. For example, in February we went to Florida, I visited the Zoo near Orlando, rode a power boat over the Everglades lake, took a tour of Kennedy Space Center, saw some crocodiles etc. On the way back I went to Atlanta to visit Powell, Ben and Audra. We went to the Zoo there too, lots of handsome snakes and frogs.
I have been leading the Buddhist Sangha meetings at the UUchurch in Moscow, ID with a few people coming each week, and this has been a chance to exchange ideas and experiences about Buddhism. This will begin again in September. I have completed the Buddhist Lesson Book, available on line! upon request; and I am working on another discussion book about identifying "Higher Truth."
In March I went to Oregon to work on our house there and get new renters. Always a pleasant task to return to The Pond although the house work can be a dreary task.
In April I went to Thailand to visit Kat and Ky for their respective birthdays, and see KenBaba and Paritha and their families. I traveled on two "pilgrimages" with Paritha's father as his guest, one near the border of Cambodia, and another along the Mekong River alongside Laos. Libby came in May and we went to Cambodia, Angkor Wat and traveled by bus South through the country to the Beach, Syonoukville?, which was very enjoyable. We have some interesting stories to tell.
In June I drove to Park City UT to pick up Libby on her way back from Texas. I did some work there, helped supervise the three granddaughters, painted walls and played with the three girls.
In July we went to Greece, Naxos Island, and met Jo O. and Ron S. and did tourism. I spent four days in Athens, and did a good review of archeology there. Then to Thessaloniki to meet Libby and stay in Sarti for three days before going to England. We visited Libby's brothers and mother and enjoyed that. We saw two shows, one in London, "Billy Elliot", and "As you Like it" in Stratford Upon Avon. Very cultural. In both Athens and in Stratford upon Avon I stayed in Youth Hostels; reminded me of when I was a youth not so long ago. I stopped again in Atlanta on the return from England and Powell was so much bigger and actively moving around the house. I was a nanny for a few days when Audra went to her emergency room training (MD school.)
We visited Lolo MT several times during the last few months, including a three day stay in August. It is so peaceful and serene there, even though I spend some of my time repairing or improving this or that.

Showing Spirituality

As I examine the subject of spirituality
I am struck by three prominent ideas:
First, how frequently I find spirituality
Once I have learned how to recognize it;
Second, how often I have overlooked
This simple connection during my life;
And third, how this innocence has been unfortunate.

Now anyone who accepts spirituality
And has an active and prosperous spiritual practice
May choose to avoid hearing what might be considered
‘Preaching to the choir’ by ending their audience here.
That is, if you are indeed part of the choir.
This poem is intended for those who don’t--
And in a different way, possibly for those
Who might like to help someone else--
Recognize or acknowledge spirituality.

I take no particular credit or assume no
Substantial valor for developing this message.
It has only taken me about 40 years to
Understand what many others see as so obvious.
This is not a poem of mourning or bemoaning,
Which I see now as the antithesis
Or two antonyms for spirituality;
It is not a poem of praise or rejoicing either,
Although that is much closer to the point;
It is a too long, overdue poem of acknowledgement.

This is a seeing and pointing, even a confession;
Possibly a showing to someone receptive.
The very act of showing involves two people
Communicating, finding a new agreement,
Even between a dead author and his neophyte
It is significant as being the best kind of teaching
It is truly an art form when two minds can meld, also
An elementary spiritual practice that anyone,
Atheist, agnostic, deist or skeptic can enjoy.
This poem is created to fulfill that noble purpose,
To hopefully compensate in some small way
For having overlooked this important connection
In the past. I have unfortunately shunned spirituality.

From the beginning we are cuddled, hopefully, by parents
As a result of a natural bonding; a healthy, compulsive
Instinct to touch and feel the passing of love.
A marvelous wonder and greater than life satisfaction
Resounds easily from the simplest acts of kindness.
For both child and parents this is a fundamental
spiritual practice that turns sacrifices into joys.

Even if this nurturing and caring is a learned response,
It is easy to appreciate this as a fundamental, intelligent act.
The presence of mystery, love, passion, and empathy
Ought to convince most people who have known this
Either as blessed recipient or sincere benefactor,
This involves spirituality at a very core level.

I still feel this impulse and the passing of love
Touched by or when touching my two adult sons.
There is a special bond that defies explanation.
How can this mysterious feeling between us persist?
And now my daughters give me the same blessing!

I like holding hands, rubbing shoulders, hugging
As greeting and at farewell. I recognize as healthy-
And commend to the attention of the reader-
These gestures and practices as connected to spirituality.
This becomes in the most basic way the essence
Of what it means to have a spiritual experience.
There doesn’t need to be mysticism or occultism,
Not even belief in an afterlife or anthropomorphic god
To enliven this sense of spirituality; this is it!

The acts of nurturing, showing and teaching by parents,
The teaching conducted spontaneously by siblings,
Even when they argue and complain to each other
And as I just wrote so deliberately, the act of
“…commending to the attention of the reader…”
Are by degree less obvious, but still spiritual
When done honestly, altruistically, without guile
Without expectation of praise or profit. And
I have for all these years been innocently ignoring
this subtle connection, or while appreciating it
and benefiting by this spirituality, I have
simply failed to recognize it for what it is.
I have thus failed to deliberately expand spirituality,
I have been in this way frustrated like the sculptor
who has no clay, unable to expand my vision.

Part of what makes these simple acts spiritual
Is the motivation behind the doing; the why of it,
Even when we feel instinctively compelled to do it.
The satisfaction of an ethical claim or obligation
And the honest joy this fulfillment can bring
Is in part diminished when I have failed
in the first instance to see clearly that my
teaching and showing was a spiritual practice.
These practices had both kinds of virtue, both ethical – practical;
and a shared form of beauty beyond description.
This is where language fails at describing, and the beauty
can be felt in those brief moments of meditation and reflection.
This can easily happen without being named, but
To make it happen consistently, it must be understood and claimed.

Another aspect of spirituality is in plane sight,
As this poem. The act of telling and listening
May be a spiritual practice between two receptive people.
Likewise, when one reader makes a new connection
between these common words and their own life,
That qualifies this writing as a sophisticated spiritual practice.
It is the reader’s enlightenment in the future that raises
the level of these poor words to a brighter status.
A showing emerges when even this one person benefits.
There is a magical moment when we create understanding
And in anticipation of that, I can justifiably claim
that as I write this poem it is a spiritual practice.

I have often done these simple practices in my life
Not having appreciated this esoteric connection.
Was I doing a spiritual practice even when
I did not wish to acknowledge it as such?
Yes, I say apologetically and heartily now! Because
I followed a spiritual practice so well
Incorporated into our dignified society,
The roots and origins of it have been lost. The magic
Is reduced to the status of common perception.

Likewise, we use many words without knowing their sources,
We rhyme and scheme, we joke and pray, rant and rave
But the language operates and we communicate
Even though we are ignorant of philology.
Meaning and understanding ought not be trivialized,
These thrive on trust, good will and ancestral experience.
Likewise, we use spirituality in social conventions:
Shaking hands, bowing, congratulating, winking,
Flirting, sensing with educated intuition and smiling.
Even as we might in our ignorance deny this,
We bless those who sneeze, out of politeness.

Could my peace and joy in the past been heightened
had I been able to make this connection?
Yes, it is that understanding that brings happiness
to each moment of my day when I avert my eyes
away from my intended direction and focus
on the stillness of my surrounding solitude,
and sense the beauty that confronts me.
There is no need for companionship to attain this happiness,
The hole where loneliness once infected my Soul, is filled
with this sense of being every moment in a spiritual practice.

I see as through a veil of confusion opening:
When I gave up obsequious god worship-
A popular and recognizable spiritual practice-
I foreswore spirituality with a smug assumption.
How offensive their hex and curse flung in vain
At those who depart Mormon rituals and practices.
So many dogmatic spiritists, mystics and occultists
Overdo their teaching attempting good. Blindly
Obsessed with guilt, ethnic and racial prejudice,
They denigrate other useful, casual practices
Which sustain decent culture and every day life.
Possibly this is the nature of their curse:
the force of personality it takes to stand alone
against their tactics, is that which also generates
a callous disregard for spirituality in life.
It need not be so. I can be both sensitive and strong.

Traumatized as I was by religious brainwashing,
So indoctrinated, I could not see simpler, honest forms.
Rejecting that, I rejected all positive spirituality, but
Thinking that does not make it so, as I can show.
This is the dark, insidious side of spiritual practice
Co-opted improperly in order to control adherents.
Human ambitions turn into priesthoods, spawn gurus,
Serve chauvinism and dabblers in sexual asceticism.
Denying the existence of spirituality is an assertion
That does not pass the test of time or common usage.

The Buddhist and Hindu teachings that take the best talent
away from the world to a life of celibacy and asceticism,
are no less corrupted by emotional blackmail.
They begin by emphasizing the suffering of the world
then provide an artificial solution, exaggerating
the perceived rewards to be received
engaging in a subtle form of emotional blackmail.
When adherents remove themselves from the world
into altered states of mind vacant of art;
they are as much engrossed in human sacrifice
as the Christians who celebrate the “atonement” of Christ.
Each samadhi is the sacrificial victim; an irony of surrender.
Their artificial stimulation could just as equally lead to love.
Sincerely seeking rewards, practitioners wish merit
on a path of ulterior motives that would lead
to at best “nirvana” or at least to an improved after-life.
This is a spiritual practice taken to extremes.

These lame abuses of spirituality do not deny its virtues.
As appalling and revolting as this imposition can be,
With generous, forgiving eyes I see past this veil,
Recognizing what is both inspiring and beyond convenient
And rational explanation about our simple lives.
This is not talk of accepting superstition, this is
Seeing the beauty in art, naming the aesthetics in life.

So many abstract nouns leave me wondering, connected
As these are to infinite resources upon which we all depend.
Healthy, modest spiritual practices can thrive, improving
Culture and Enlightenment even as language changes.
Not only can anyone enjoy life better and prosper
By developing some healthy spiritual practice,
It is damn near impossible, unless one is insane or an idiot
To remove oneself from a world enhanced by spirituality.

The simple acts of friendship, curiosity, choosing, modesty,
Even proving with rational logic involves accepting rules;
Later we advance to understand and benefit from emotions.

Examining and challenging one’s religious heritage,
Is a genuine spiritual practice, easy to imagine.
Failure to acknowledge and to deny spirituality
Is not uncommon but unfortunate, as suggested.
This innocence can lead to callous, mean habits,
To beliefs and thought patterns that are
Destructive, insensitive and self-defeating.

What will convince the harshest skeptic
That even in their darkest mood of pessimism
They are, in one covert way or another
Following an unavoidable spiritual practice?
Try this simple exercise:
Close your eyes.
Examine your feelings -- Calm, happy, indifferent,
Bemused, arrogant, confident, perplexed--
This self-examination and the capacity to do so
Is a simple beginning of a useful spiritual practice.

When this is practiced with discipline, with a goal,
It may lead to a healthy, beneficial self-awareness.
When these realizations are shared moment to moment
As between two lovers, this cultivates and fosters love.
How hard can that be? I say this with a smile
Because as I write these unburdened thoughts
I am forced to humbly acknowledge that
I am at once learning from this heuristic kind of teaching,
And, I am surely repeating lessons heard before.

I have been blessed with an acquaintance with science
And mathematics. I understand that proofs must
Respond to both necessary and sufficient conditions.
To deny the existence of spirituality I have challenged
my perceptions and emotional responses with
this grueling logic, grinding away at the point
of my own sensitivity. At last I understand.
Is it Necessary for a practice to be spiritual that it responds
as above, giving some kind of deep emotional
satisfaction that I have described. Probably not.
What can show Sufficiently, conclusively
That a spiritual practice is not just superstition
Or figment of imagination, an act of volition or
deed following the agenda of a charismatic leader?
Must there always be this leap over logic to validate faith?

There can be other solutions to this dilemma. For me
The ontological nature of Man gives rise to Sufficiency.
The fact that we are here, capable of being spiritual,
Capable of feeling in the same way some other animals feel,
Love, passion, dedication, joy, bonding, justice and more.
The grace of this existence, the given in an equation,
Obviates the need for an answer to the question Why?
It is a misuse of language to ask this recurring question.
Logic and mathematical proofs are rules we follow, but
We do so because we give ourselves these rules.
Explanations must come to an end, because of the very
limitation of our existence in time;
we have but to decide the What and When.

The rules of our logic neither dictate nor contradict
existence of Man, our manifest talents and capabilities.
Since the elaborations of Godel’s Proof, we know that
Any logical system can be internally inconsistent.
Logic does not need to prove the existence or character
of the intelligence that created it.
Its functions can be limited in time and scope,
and are not required to be reflexive to prove,
in this case, the capacities of man, our own intelligence
and ability to feel and sense beauty in a numinous way.

If we extend this innate talent, extrapolating from these feelings
Rules and truths as found in dogmatic creeds,
That is when we error, and ought to pass the test
Of being both necessary and sufficient, because
These creeds are mental constructs, built on the will of man,
While spirituality is a fundamental capability of man.

Hopefully the simple exercise of identifying feelings,
consciousness of self-awareness, is convincing
Enough to set the most skeptical and obdurate free-thinker
On a path of self-discovery and self-guided spirituality,
Which is the option I have selected for myself.

I would be most complimented and content
If some former skeptic were to say in rebuke:
You are simply stating obvious truths.
Then I would know we are in agreement, there has
Been a successful and positive Showing.
If writing this poem can accomplish this,
I suspect it can ignite a spark of spirituality
in even the most intransigent reader, as I was.
May it be so!
I.J. Hall February 5, 2004