The last days in Suan Monkk

We are up as usual the third day and I crash/half asleep toward the sala to open the day with meditation as during each previous day. "In the dark comfort
candlelight flickers
enclosing the sala in a dim curtain."
The routine of the day begins to unfold as a quieting factor, reducing distractions.
We go to Yoga and I try to be moderate. I find myself staggering around with my balance disturbed by my reduced blood supply associated with the atrial-fibrillation, but I try to walk mostly normal.
Occasionally I check my pulse just to humor myself, the beat is so irregular it feels like some kind of jazz rhythm, making a normal heart beat seem so boring.
To breakfast at 8:00 with the same rice can-gee (although I am not sure that is what I should call it.) Then back to my cell for a nap.
Mindfulness of breathing is what unlocks all other considerations (the remaining 12 follow almost automatically.) That is what we are taught. The teaching and emphasis of Anapanasati has changed since I read about it. And of course that is what I came here for, to do it and learn the nuance, rather than the simple crude knowledge.
We did more walking meditation today. A monitor lizard came bye, sticking out his tongue in doubt and disgust.
The fourth step (tetrad) is a training, (single-pointed guarding the breath) for the insight into the next 12 steps used as objects of meditation.
Vedana, feeling support of mindfulness, is seen as rapture (jhana) and only process that operates as mind conditioning.
My thought in contrast suggests: This is not "buddhism" but hollow teaching of bliss and rapture. They have rebelled against the useful symbols of Buddhist ritual because of misuse and superstitions of most Buddhists. But in doing so they have not preserved the aesthetic beauty of the Thai religion.
However, I observe that they have their own esoteric superstition, but just not the same ones. This might be the "Unitarianism" of Buddhism where they try to appreciate the essence of all religion. We progress to walking meditation, introduction to chanting as before, and the day progresses by routine.
By noon of the fourth day, I feel my left hip and leg being seriously strained. I take some aspirin and that helps a little, but my leg is becoming a serious distraction.
In the morning of the fifth day I wake and roll out of bed. For just a few seconds I notice there is a stiffness or a kink in my left hip and move to rotate my leg, "shake it out" which turns out to be a mistake and I pinch my nerve and find myself in terrible pain. Now what do I do? I can hardly walk. I start off for the meditation sala by using the walking stick I found yesterday. I barely make it and stand by my seat in serious discomfort trying not to disturb anyone around me. I decide I can't go to yoga of course, and I can only walk a short distance without stopping to let the pain subside. I make it to breakfast and don't have any appetite. After breakfast I stick around and ask for medication, they have some pain pills but it doesn't do me any good. I ask for ice and try that, but it doesn't help. I return to my room, and try to lie down but can't find a position to be comfortable. I decide I have to leave to visit a hospital to get some pain medication, at least some ibuprofen. I pack and struggle to get to the central dinning hall. I arrange for a ride to town but have to wait until 3:00 in the afternoon. The driver of the abbot takes me to town and I check in to the hospital. The young doctor interviews me and prescribes a shot for pain, and then some muscle relaxers etc. The visit to the hospital costs about three dollars. I decide that I need to return to Bangkok, so I ride to the train station on the back of a motorcycle carrying my rather large back/pack suitcase on my lap. I wait for the train in the heat (about 98F)and humidity (about 95%.) The train comes and takes me to a station in Sura Tani about 15 miles from the airport. Then I get a pickup/taxi and ride on the back of this covered pickup truck to the airport. The driver helps me (so we can find change, and he can get paid.) I get an airplane (about $75.00) to return to Bangkok. By now the pain shot medication has faded, but I am taking the other pills and manage to limp along by leaning forward. Kenbaba (my son) picks me up, and I am back to civilization, disgruntled for not having been able to stay for the entire retreat. But I did get some training, perhaps the most useful part.
Perhaps I will try again.